During the summer, it can be very difficult to keep your children busy and also help them get along. Being around each other tends to lead to more arguments, fighting, tension, and stress for everyone; but there are some easy things you can do as a parent to help your children get along better.
- Set ground rules. Fighting is normal among siblings, but it is important to understand the root of the conflict at home. You can manage conflicts by having clear schedules and systems in place. If your kids always fight over where to sit during dinner, have a schedule ahead of time so that everyone gets to sit where they want at least once during the week.
- Be specific and age-appropriate. You might use a timer, a written contract or plan, or have a conversation with your child, depending on their age. Most important is that the rules and expectations are specific and clear for each child.
- Provide positive reinforcement. Focus on the behaviors you want to see more than the behaviors you do not want to see. Another term is “active ignoring” so that you do not spend a lot of time on arguing or scolding. Some examples of positive reinforcers include more screen time, a high five, a special snack, or a simple comment.
- Be open about differences between siblings. Explain to children the difference between “fair” and “equal.” Older children have more freedom and responsibility, which is fair but not equal in the eyes of younger children.
- Clear up roles and responsibilities. Older children might be asked to take on additional responsibility around the house, such as helping with younger siblings. But it is important that everyone understands these new roles and the boundaries within them. Additionally, it is important to not put too much responsibility on older teenagers due to additional stress they might be dealing with.
- Emphasize silver linings. Siblings can learn a lot from spending more time together, such as conflict resolution, takings turns, and sharing. It is an amazing opportunity for siblings to grow closer, make positive memories, and work together.
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If you would like to learn more about how to encourage positive interactions amongst your children, please reach out. I am happy to collaborate some ideas and activities to use at home!