Tag: Teenagers

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Uncertainty During a Pandemic

Wow. I don’t think anyone could have predicted that our lives would have changed so much from a few months ago. Our world and community has been hit hard by the Coronavirus and we are still trying to adjust to the many changes brought on by this illness. I know that everyone’s routines have changed drastically, and this is especially true for our young children and adolescents. Many have not been able to see their friends in months, and this can have a huge impact on their social and emotional development. Now more than ever, it is important for parents to help their children understand what is happening around us in a developmentally appropriate way.

Children need to stay active and exposed to their peers in order to maintain their social and emotional development. I have seen so many families engage in creative and safe ways to support their children in these ways, although it is very difficult! The best thing for families to do is to be open and honest with their children, but try to not tell them that everything is going to be OK. Share your concerns and worries with them, because they are most likely having some of the same thoughts. But also provide them with concrete solutions and tools they can use to help cope with these real worries.

Pay special attention to your adolescents who thrive on their social lives. They are experiencing something that is completely out of their norm, and may not know how to cope with the isolation. If you notice any major changes, talk to your teen. Allow them to feel like they can come to you, because they do not have a lot of other physical contact with others right now.

Overall, do what is best for your family. This may look different from family to family, and that is OK. Take steps to protect yourself and your children, and know that you are doing your best. Find some fun ways to spend quality time with each other at home, whether it means cooking together, going on a family bike ride, having movie night, or scheduling time with each of your children individually. Give yourself grace as a parent and know that it is enough for now.

Here to help or listen if you need anything.

-Caitlin

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Unhelpful Thinking Styles

I often see clients who engage in unhelpful or negative thinking styles. These patterns have become habits over time and is often out of our own awareness. It is important to increase awareness of your thoughts so that you are able to catch these negative patterns and work towards a healthier perspective.

Here are the 10 most common unhelpful things habits:

  1. All or nothing thinking: Sometimes called “black or white thinking.” If it is not perfect, then it is a failure.
  2. Overgeneralizing: Seeing a pattern in a single event. Nothing good ever happens to me.
  3. Mental filter: Only paying attention to certain types of information. Noting our failures but not our successes.
  4. Disqualifying the positive: Discounting the good things that have happened.
  5. Jumping to conclusions: Mind reading or fortune telling.
  6. Magnification and minimization: Blowing things out of proportion or making it seem less important.
  7. Emotional reasoning: Assuming that because we feel a certain way what we think must also be true. I feel embarrassed so I must be an idiot.
  8. Should or must: Using these words can make you feel guilty or that you have made a mistake.
  9. Labeling: Assigning labels to ourselves or other people. I’m a loser, they are such an idiot.
  10. Personalization: Blaming yourself or others for something that wasn’t completely your or their fault.

I would suggest taking an inventory of which of these you find yourself engaging in regularly. This will help you to target what patterns you can challenge to have a more helpful and positive perspective.

I help many teenagers with these thinking patterns because this is when they have likely began to develop. It can take time to break these bad habits but it will lead to a healthier and happier outlook.

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Anxiety Among Children and Teenagers

Anxiety is becoming the leading mental health disorder among children and teenagers, starting as young as 8 years old. Children are being exposed to so much more in our society, and this is leading to serious emotional and behavioral consequences at home and at school. Anxiety can present differently in children and teenagers compared to adults.

Children might display these common symptoms:

  • Lack of concentration
  • Racing thoughts
  • Irritability (among teenagers)
  • Restlessness
  • Excessive worry
  • Clingy
  • Easily startled
  • Crying and/or tantrums
  • Poor sleep habits
  • Excessive headaches and/or stomachaches

Anxiety affects the entire person, including physically, psychologically, and emotionally. This makes it extremely important to focus on the entire child when treating anxiety. Treatment for anxiety has been proven through medication, relaxation skills, mindfulness techniques, and traditional talk therapy. Most importantly, the family and parents need to be involved in the process of treatment to offer guidance and support to their child or teenager. 

Many times parents are unsure of how to help their anxious child. Here are some quick tips:

  • Find out what is on their mind that is worrying them
  • Show you care and understand
  • Guide them to possible solutions rather than solving it for them
  • Keep things in perspective – most problems are temporary and solvable
  • Offer reassurance and comfort
  • Role model positive ways of coping with anxiety or worry
  • Seek the advice of a professional (doctor, therapist, etc)

Here is a great article about what to do and what not to do with your anxious child:

https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/

If any of this applies to your child, please reach out for more information!