Tag: Counseling

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Unhelpful Thinking Styles

I often see clients who engage in unhelpful or negative thinking styles. These patterns have become habits over time and is often out of our own awareness. It is important to increase awareness of your thoughts so that you are able to catch these negative patterns and work towards a healthier perspective.

Here are the 10 most common unhelpful things habits:

  1. All or nothing thinking: Sometimes called “black or white thinking.” If it is not perfect, then it is a failure.
  2. Overgeneralizing: Seeing a pattern in a single event. Nothing good ever happens to me.
  3. Mental filter: Only paying attention to certain types of information. Noting our failures but not our successes.
  4. Disqualifying the positive: Discounting the good things that have happened.
  5. Jumping to conclusions: Mind reading or fortune telling.
  6. Magnification and minimization: Blowing things out of proportion or making it seem less important.
  7. Emotional reasoning: Assuming that because we feel a certain way what we think must also be true. I feel embarrassed so I must be an idiot.
  8. Should or must: Using these words can make you feel guilty or that you have made a mistake.
  9. Labeling: Assigning labels to ourselves or other people. I’m a loser, they are such an idiot.
  10. Personalization: Blaming yourself or others for something that wasn’t completely your or their fault.

I would suggest taking an inventory of which of these you find yourself engaging in regularly. This will help you to target what patterns you can challenge to have a more helpful and positive perspective.

I help many teenagers with these thinking patterns because this is when they have likely began to develop. It can take time to break these bad habits but it will lead to a healthier and happier outlook.

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Family Conflict

All families have faced conflict or adversity, some maybe more extreme than others. Many common challenges that families face include discipline strategies, ways of managing behaviors, effective communication among family members, and appropriate use of technology. Parents may differ in their views in many areas when it comes to raising children, but this does not have to become a barrier to being an effective parent. Children and adolescents need to feel listened to, supported, and accepted by their parents, and this can be achieved in many different ways. One of the easiest forms include simply validating how your child or adolescent is feeling. This does not always mean that you agree with their behaviors or choices, but it helps them to feel supported by you and that they can trust you. As children mature and continue to develop many of the social and emotional skills, you will see how your parenting strategies will also have to change. Children at times need more structure and direction, and other times can be allowed more freedom to explore their world on their own. This is the joy yet challenge with parenting: there is not one right way to be a parent!!

In counseling, I help families work on their ability to effectively communicate their thoughts and feelings with one another, without assigning blame to one member in particular. I find that this is paramount to overcoming most challenges families face, and it is a skill that can be used in any relationship. When families are facing a significant crisis, I hope to provide them with a supportive and safe environment to express their immediate concerns while repairing or rebuilding relationships that my have been damaged among the way.

If you would like more information about how I can help or support your family through a challenge, please reach out!

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Anxiety Among Children and Teenagers

Anxiety is becoming the leading mental health disorder among children and teenagers, starting as young as 8 years old. Children are being exposed to so much more in our society, and this is leading to serious emotional and behavioral consequences at home and at school. Anxiety can present differently in children and teenagers compared to adults.

Children might display these common symptoms:

  • Lack of concentration
  • Racing thoughts
  • Irritability (among teenagers)
  • Restlessness
  • Excessive worry
  • Clingy
  • Easily startled
  • Crying and/or tantrums
  • Poor sleep habits
  • Excessive headaches and/or stomachaches

Anxiety affects the entire person, including physically, psychologically, and emotionally. This makes it extremely important to focus on the entire child when treating anxiety. Treatment for anxiety has been proven through medication, relaxation skills, mindfulness techniques, and traditional talk therapy. Most importantly, the family and parents need to be involved in the process of treatment to offer guidance and support to their child or teenager. 

Many times parents are unsure of how to help their anxious child. Here are some quick tips:

  • Find out what is on their mind that is worrying them
  • Show you care and understand
  • Guide them to possible solutions rather than solving it for them
  • Keep things in perspective – most problems are temporary and solvable
  • Offer reassurance and comfort
  • Role model positive ways of coping with anxiety or worry
  • Seek the advice of a professional (doctor, therapist, etc)

Here is a great article about what to do and what not to do with your anxious child:

https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/

If any of this applies to your child, please reach out for more information!

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Depression and Mental Health Counseling

Depression is one of the most common reasons individual seek counseling services. Common signs of depression include:

  • Persistent feeling of sadness
  • Loss of interest in pleasurable activities
  • Trouble focusing or concentrating
  • Sleep difficulties (too little or too much)
  • No energy
  • Isolation 

Just because you experience some of these symptoms does not mean you have a Depressive Disorder; it may just mean you have some symptoms of depression. Not everyone who is depressed experiences the same symptoms with the same severity. The good news is that depression can be treated for most individuals. Sometimes medication, in combination with therapy, can be the best way to treat depression and symptoms of depression. Here are some quick tips to help yourself or a loved one suffering from depression:

  • Be active and exercise
  • Set realistic goals for yourself
  • Spend time with others who you trust
  • Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately 

Depression among children and teenagers may look slightly different than in adults. There may be more irritability and anger rather than sadness; there may be more physical ailments and complaints; more feelings of worthlessness and sensitivity to feedback; and withdrawing from parents.

For more information, please visit: https://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/guide/